Consent is key

Studies have proven that comprehensive, science-based sex education lowers teenage pregnancy and sexual activity rates. Perhaps consent-education will, likewise, help children discern what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior, and when they should seek help.

Regardless of personal beliefs, it is important for all children and teens to understand consent: What is consent; why is consent important; how do you give consent; and when is it impossible to give consent?

What is consent?

Consent is saying that you would like to do something. It could be as simple as holding hands or kissing, but consent is an active and enthusiastic, “Yes, I want to do that,” or “Yes, you may.”

Consent is not: “I guess so...”; “Maybe...”; “Uhh, sure...”; or silence. Any sign of doubt or uncertainty is NOT consent. And just because someone doesn't say, “no” does not mean they have given consent.

Why is consent important?

Consent gives each individual power and authority over their own body. Many children and teens don’t realize that they have the power to say, “no,” especially to those they care about, those they are in a relationship with, or those in authority positions.

This is why is it important to teach children from a young age that we must respect each others’ bodies and personal space. If your child is not comfortable hugging an acquaintance or relative, do not force them. Instead, use the situation as a teaching moment: “If you are uncomfortable with it, you don’t have to. You never have to do anything with your body that you don’t want to do. It is your body and you are in control of it.”

Knowing what consent is, and how to give consent, allows kids (and adults) to both take care of themselves and respect others.

How do you give consent (or not)?

Again, consent is an active and enthusiastic “yes!” and it can be retracted at any time. This is why it is important to check in often to see if you and your partner are on the same page.

Not giving consent can be, “I’m not comfortable with that,” “Let’s slow down,” silence, or just a plain, “No.”

When is it impossible to give consent?

People cannot give consent if:

• One is underage

• One is in a position of authority, regardless of age (for example: teachers and students; coaches and players; supervisors and employees; parents and children)

• There is a power imbalance (for example: a celebrity and a fan)

• One or both people are impaired by alcohol or drugs (if you are unable to drive, you are unable to give consent)

If any of these circumstances are present, consent cannot be given.


Check out Laci Green's video on consent for more information.